Mind Control Not For Amateurs
by LadySwish17
Summary: “You should be trembling in fear, Captain. This machine is going to be your undoing.” Dr. Horrible; Captain Hammer/Dr. Horrible


It was finally complete. After months of plotting, planning, research - with a few evil hand rubs thrown in - the Mind Control Machine of Doom was finally complete and ready for use.

All that was needed was a guinea pig of sorts. And Billy, er, Dr. Horrible had the perfect one in mind.

It wasn't easy getting him. It took a lot of plotting, planning research - one or two evil hand rubs thrown in - and even then, there were ... complications to say the least.

Lots of painful and bloody complications.

But in the end, thanks to a plan involving Moist, a ten-foot rubber sheet, and some dish detergent, Captain Hammer was flung unconscious and finally in Dr. Horrible's clutches. His _evil_ clutches.

Life was good.

Dr. Horrible threw his head back and laughed, his evil laugh filling his laboratory. Thank goodness he'd taken those classes.

"Oh shut up." Captain Hammer spat, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "You know I'm going to get out of these cuffs and kick your ass all over town. _Again_."

Dr. Horrible stared at his captive with his deadliest glare. "Au contraire, Captain iHam/i-mer. You couldn't get out of those even if you tried…"

Captain Hammer smirked, shifting in his chair and flexing his mighty muscles and there was a creak of metal as his restraints strained to keep him.

There was a spark behind him as the two batteries Dr. Horrible had hooked up to the restraints sent volt after volt through him.

His body arched, his jaw clenched. Captain Hammer groaned, going limp and coughing when it was over.

"Told you."

"What the hell…?"

"My insurance you wouldn't try and get up to kill me."

"Shocking me is just gonna _make_ me kill you, idiot."

"Hey! There's no need for the name-calling. I tried to warn you about that if you had taken the time to actually listen to me." Dr. Horrible lifted up his goggles.

"You know, that's your whole problem. You never listen to me. You never stop and listen to anything I have to say. We have a serious communication problem."

Captain Hammer raised an eyebrow. "Okay, first. You make it sound as if we're in a relationship."

"In a—"

"Second, I don't know if those goggles resting on your noggin are cutting off the circulation to your brain, but uh. You're the evil genius bent on world domination and I'm the hero that works to stop you."

Dr. Horrible huffed. "The goggles are perfectly fit to my head, thank you very much." He turned to wheel his Mind Control Machine of Doom, but paused to face Captain Hammer again. "You think I'm an evil genius?"

"I think you're a weakling that won't ever achieve anything other than getting your ass kicked every day. And not just by me, either. I'm sure I could find a few old ladies that need some exercise."

"Wow. You may be a jerk, but you're honest."

"What can I say? I'm a hero."

Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes as he turned and wheeled his invention towards Captain Hammer.

"What's that?"

"You shall see soon enough." Dr. Horrible smirked. He grabbed a corner of the tarp and flung it off, rolling it into a ball and kicking it into a corner.

Captain Hammer looked the machine up and down. "Um, okay," he said, totally unimpressed.

"You should be trembling in fear, Captain. This machine is going to be your undoing." Dr. Horrible threw his head back and laughed evilly.

"Uh huh."

Dr. Horrible's smile left his face. "Don't just say 'uh huh' like it's something you've seen before."

"Oh I have." Captain Hammer nodded. "At the local scrap heap."

"You are such a jerk." Dr. Horrible grabbed and placed the headpiece on top of Captain Hammer's head, connecting the electrodes to his temples. "Comfy?"

Captain Hammer struggled against his restraints, only to be shocked into submission again. "When I get out of these…" He growled.

"Yeah, yeah. You'll beat me to a pulp." Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes, switching on the machine and watching as the power level rose to full capacity. "That's _if_ I tell you to, which, you know. I'd never do." His finger gently touched the large red button. "Behold, Captain Hammer! You shall be my slave and do my bidding!" He pressed the button and watched with expectant wide eyes, his hands rubbing together in an evil manner.

Captain Hammer felt pin pricks running from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes. He was simultaneously ice hot and feverishly hot at the same time and his tongue felt heavy and swollen. He tried to lift his hands to get the headpiece off, but felt the electric shock surge through his body. He convulsed violently, his eyes rolling towards the back of his head from the combined reaction of both the machine and the batteries.

There were sparks flying, shooting from the top of the machine and landing dangerously close to the chemicals on the lab tables. Panicking, Dr. Horrible ran, hitting where each spark landed.

The lights dimmed as the Mind Control Machine of Doom drained the power in his apartment building as well as the surrounding buildings.

Dr. Horrible ran and jabbed his finger on the button, shutting off the machine. "Whoa."

The machine whirred to a stop. Dr. Horrible sighed, checking his machine and wondering what had gone wrong when he shot a glance over to Captain Hammer, who sat slumped and unmoving.

Dr. Horrible's eyes widened as he took small, slow steps towards the hero. "Oh dear God, I think I killed him."

He slipped off a glove and carefully felt for a pulse, relieved when he felt one. Slow and steady.

Captain Hammer stirred, groaning as a tingling sensation went up and down through his body.

Dr. Horrible slipped his glove back on, backing away and peering nervously at Captain Hammer. "Um…"

"Oh, man. What happened?" Captain Hammer coughed.

"Um, you were telling me I wasn't worthy of the title evil genius—"

"What? That's not true. You're the best evil genius I've ever fought against."

Dr. Horrible felt his mouth drop open. "W-what?"

"Yeah, man. You're great. Seriously, how many do you know could do what you do?"

"Er, well, there's…"

"None! The correct answer's none."

Dr. Horrible stared at Captain Hammer for a long time, speechless.

"Well, you also said you'd get some old ladies to beat me up."

"What? I'll beat the hell out of _anybody_ if they messed with you."

A smile spread across Dr. Horrible's face. "Do you think I'm weak?"

"I don't know. Make a muscle."

Dr. Horrible flexed.

"Nah, I mean, you may need to work out a bit, but you look good."

"Really?" Dr. Horrible's arm fell back down to his side. "I mean, I know I do need to hit the gym. It's just a matter of trying to work it into my schedule of evil, you know?"

"Totally understandable." Captain Hammer nodded. "Um, would you mind letting me up now?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Dr. Horrible stepped behind the chair and started to unhook the batteries connected to the chair before pausing. "Um," he said nervously as he leaned to look at Captain Hammer. "If I let you up, you're not gonna hit me, are you?"

"Dude. You're my buddy. Why would I hit you?"

"Um, because you _always_ hit me."

"Oh, well, I won't this time."

"You're right. Captain, I command you not to hit me when I release you."

"Okay," Captain Hammer shrugged.

Dr. Horrible unhooked the batteries and the restraints fell open without hesitation.

"Oh man, thanks." Captain Hammer pulled off the headpiece and handed it to Dr. Horrible, rubbing his temples. "That was really making me itch."

"Oh, yeah, must be the sticky gel on the electrodes."

Captain Hammer stood up and stretched his arms towards the ceiling. "So, pal. What do we do now?"

"Um, we could rob the bank."

"Rob…the bank?" Captain Hammer's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Or go and steal some wonderflonium. I need to restock my supply."

Captain Hammer's eyes narrowed. "Um…"

"I'm kidding!" Dr. Horrible laughed awkwardly. "We're not going to do any of that."

"Oh, good." Captain Hammer chuckled. "I was hoping you were joking about that."

"Yeah, it was a bad joke."

The awkwardness of the moment settled in the air, hanging like wet laundry.

"Um, so." Dr. Horrible started, but stopped, not knowing what to say.

"Seriously. You need some wonderflonium?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Okay, buddy. I'll get you some." Captain Hammer walked towards the lab door, pausing when he opened it. "How much do you need?"

"A lot, actually. I tend to run through the stuff when I'm doing experiments."

"Understandable for an evil genius like yourself. Okay, be right back." Captain Hammer said, closing the door behind him.

Dr. Horrible felt his smile return. The great Captain Hammer, hero to all and bully to Dr. Horrible. Working for him. Under his – evil – thumb and control.

"_Some times_," he started to sing. "_When you least expect it, evil can triumph…_"

A knock at the door stopped him. He walked over to the door and opened it, surprised to see Captain Hammer back so soon.

Later on, when he had regained consciousness thanks to Moist, he would admit that he really hadn't been surprised to see Captain Hammer standing there, glowering at him. Nor was he surprised to see Captain Hammer's fist heading for his face. Repeatedly.

He had been taken aback by the number of wedgies he got, however. The only thing that had upset him about the wedgies was the fact that his underwear had been brand new and freshly laundered.

"So I take it the Mind Control Machine of Doom didn't take?" Moist asked, handing him a wet towel to wipe away the blood from his nose and mouth.

"No, apparently the effects only lasted so long before..."

"Before he remembered everything and came back." Moist nodded.

"Yeah," Dr. Horrible said, wincing as he wiped the blood from his nose. It wasn't as busted as his lip, but it was darn close. "Must have been the overload from the batteries and the power grid."

"Don't worry, Doc. You'll get it." Moist said, patting him on the back.

"Oh well," Dr. Horrible sighed. "Back to the drawing board."

The End.


End file.
